:|
i feel so...blah lately. :| i've had a hard time deciding what it is that's making me so sluggish and unmotivated, but i think i've pinned it down. my best girl friend is getting married in August, one of my old roomies is engaged, and one of my current roomies will be engaged on Valentine's Day cuz that's when her boyfriend is proposing. i'm excited for all of them, but the more i think about it, the more i realize; i'm almost 21 and i've never even had a boyfriend. i've been on a total of 3 actual dates, and i did the asking on two of them. i watch my friends date each other and get all affectionate and wish for that same affection from someone...
anyone. it's something that i never really let bother me all that much until recently. there's this deep down restlessness inside of me; there's just no other way to put it. i can't focus on practically anything, and when i smile, these days it just seems fake. there have been a few times when i've actually really had fun and felt truly happy this past school year, but then i just go numb again. what the crap is wrong with me?! i have so many close friends, on and offline, so why should not having a significant other matter so much right now?
"bear in mah hair!"
i've gotten some interesting comments about this one, so i thought i'd share. Frank's has been the best so far. :D
noisy!
i often wonder what point the silent vibrate function on a cell phone has anymore. i was sitting in New Testament class today, taking notes, when i hear this annoyingly loud buzzing sound. i thought it might have been coming from behind the back wall, against which i sit, because they've been remodeling the Taylor recently. "must be an electric screwdriver or drill," i thought. but it continued at regular intervals, and so i listened more closely to find it coming from the right pocket of my coat. then i remembered. my cell phone must be buzzing. it's so noisy when it vibrates that there's almost no point in switching it to silent mode! Jordan left a voicemail, which made it buzz once more after a slight pause, which leads me to the next thing.
i'm officially addicted to
ocremix.org. i've never even
heard of some of the games they have remixes for! but so far i've enjoyed listening to all of them, with few exceptions. i've downloaded the first page and listened to them one by one, deleting the ones i don't like and keeping the rest. pretty good stuff, i must say. if you like techno and remixes of all kinds of stuff, you'll LOVE this site. they have everything from Tetris to Bomberman and all the new games of the day. it's amazing. i love it. dangit Jordan, my laptop's hard drive is about to be completely taken up! :P
Flickr and multitasking
Frank showed me a new photo hosting site tonight that i higly recommend. it's
www.flickr.com, and it's 20 MB of uploads per month if you get a free account. not bad. i already started working on my profile and uploading some pics. :D
and now he's got me multitasking, too! trillian, an IM window talkin to him, blogspot, flickr, bannedwidth, and windows media player are all open in my taskbar right now. :o oh and now amazon.com. 7 tabs. and counting. dangit! :D
school
ugh. the word just commands a certain amount of respect and fear, doesn't it.
so, it's the start of a brand new semester at BYU-Idaho, and a rocky start at that. i didn't work over the three-week Christmas Break, and i spent the paycheck i got over the break on Christmas presents for friends and family. what i completely forgot about was that i needed enough to pay for January rent, which would have been fine had i not spent the paycheck over the break. so i was forced to go ask Dad for help...which shows my utter desperation for help. lucky for me he loves me and though he wasn't happy about it and i got an earful for my stupidity, he and Mom sent not just the bare amount of what i needed, but a little extra to help with food and class supplies. i'm just barely going to make it; i'll have just enough to pay tithing, have just enough food to last me, and get all the books and supplies for my class. i'm really grateful for my parents and my Heavenly Father for helping me through this, despite the mistakes i make.
oh and check this, i just spent
$13 on a paintbrush, and $9 on another! the black binder sketchbook i bought cost as much as that larger brush...how freakin' A ridiculous! being an Art major is expensive. >.< but i hope it will be worth it when all is said and done.
also, i just noticed that while my overall GPA of 3.245 is not bad, it's been dropping every semester, and that's not good. i've determined to get at least 2 or 3 A's among the rest B's this semester, if not straight A's, because it's more than doable.
oh and we won't go into my experience with the twins' old Cadillac today, because i'm already having to endure endless torment from Trent about that. -_- let's just say that until two hours ago, i didn't know old cars used to have separate keys to open the doors and turn the ignition. i do now, and i will
never forget.
New Year
Happy New Year everyone. guess it's been awhile since i last posted anything. hmmm.
Frank posted somethin off of PT (probetalk.com) that i find worth mentioning. i must be boring since i've only completed a few of the 100 suggested things we should do before we die. :P
. but, i can honestly say that i have completed the following.
Watch the launch of the space shuttle.
Spend a whole day eating junk food without feeling guilty.
Learn to rollerblade.
Own a room with a view.
Learn how to take a compliment.
Get to know your neighbors.
Learn to play a musical instrument with some degree of skill.
See a lunar eclipse.
Sing a great song in front of an audience.
Make a complete and utter fool of yourself.
Sleep under the stars.
Learn how to complain effectively - and do it!
Spend a whole day reading a great novel.
Learn to use a microphone and give a speech in public.
Attend one really huge rock concert.
Fart in a crowded space.
Create your own website.
how bout the rest of you?
